PAGING ART LINKLETTER: Before we had children, my wife and I had the good fortune of having two beautiful Airedale Terriers. Bruno, the elder of the two, passed away before C.J. (our oldest son) was born. And Vladi, the younger of the two, passed away shortly after Mikey (our youngest son) came on the scene. (To be honest, I'm not certain I have the timing right. But I am certain it doesn't matter to this story.)

Both our boys are well aware that they were preceded in the house by these two eighty-pound furballs, as they've seen pictures and heard stories about the two "boys" we had before them.

A few mornings ago, Eileen and C.J. set out on an early-morning grocery store run. As they pulled into a parking spot, two large Airedales bounded into the window of the car next to them, panting and smiling as only Airedales can. My wife, thrilled, said to my son, "Look, C.J., look!"

"Is that God's car?" he asked.

IT'S NOT CHEATING IF EVERYONE DOES IT? I hate open secrets like this one. (A major league bullpen coach says Kenny Rogers definitely had pine tar on his hand last night.) Makes me feel so naive.

Nonetheless a great piece of reporting my Jon Heyman. Well done!

EMBEARASSING: Have there ever been a study into how people feel when their favorite sports team is getting embarassed on national television? As my Bears are now down 17-0...as they've just coughed the ball up *again*...I literally feel ill. Sick to my stomach. Nauseous. Etcetera.

I mean, I have a headache, a tummy ache, and a soul ache. It's horrible. I wish I could turn it off.

Luckily, as a Cubs fan, I keep thinking they'll turn it around any minute.

C'mon D. Hold that line! Hold that line!

Meanwhile Kornheiser and Theismann are absolutely painful to listen to. Blah blah blah.

YOU SAY FOMENTING, I SAY FERMENTING: Somewhere below in the COMMENTS, some anonymous soul opines that this blog has been "fomenting" for a while. Fomenting?

Anyway, point taken. Message to Anonymous: So glad you care.

What's on my mind as I sit here watching my beloved Bears laying an egg on Monday Night Football? I loathe Tony Kornheiser. That's one thought. I loathe Joe Theismann. That's another thought. What's wrong with my Bears? Another. Lou Piniella? Another.

Anyway, I can't help but think the Bears are one big defensive play -- interception, fumble, safety -- away from regaining momentum and disemboweling these lowly desert birds.

To think, somebody actually missed this empty blather. Ah, well. I'll get better.