BORING AND BORINGER: I totally agree with Tom Shales...the Oscars were a snoozefest, with the only authentic moment coming when Jennifer Hudson won. The rest was a pageant put on by pageanteers for pageanteers. Me, I'm not so much into pageants. I like small.
I asked my wife, "Why in God's name do I watch this every year when it always bores me to tears?" She had no answer for me.
I'm pretty sure it's cause I like to be part of the conversation the next day at work.
Since I'm not going to work today, I'll share a few of my thoughts here:
I was hoping Al Gore's big announcement might be that he was starting the South Beach Diet.
That Jodie Foster cleans up awful nice.
People that are annoying just to look at: Jada Pinkett Smith, Leo DiCaprio, George Lucas, Kate Winslet, Celine Dion, Maggie Gyllenhall, Melissa Etheridge, Al Gore, Marc Anthony
George Lucas looks like a guy wearing a George Lucas costume.
If Count Chocula ever retires, Marc Anthony's agent should be on the phone immediately.
When did Clint Eastwood turn 90?
Good for Melissa Etheridge. I was rooting for him.
How in blazes did Jennifer Hudson's girls stay in her dress? She must have low nipples.
How can Beyonce look so hot and so cold...at the same time?
For the love of God, no more Celine Dion. Can't we upgrade to Anne Murray or something?
The Oscars are like SNL: You know it's going to suck but you watch anyway.
Will Ferrell's hair -- and Jack Nicholson's lack thereof -- were my twin show highlights.
Mark Wahlberg has jumped the shark.
Tell me I was not the only person in America who was paralyzed by shock when Ben Affleck was introduced as "an Academy-award winning screenwriter."
The hottest babe of this year's Oscars might have been...Helen Mirren. I shit you not. GrandMILF central.
Of all the nominees, Alan Arkin is the guy I'd most like to have coffee with.
Jack Black is really great at playing...Jack Black.
Gwynneth Paltrow is a huge fan and admirer of...Gwynneth Paltrow. By the way, what's a Gwynneth? Pretty sure it's that dangly piece of skin between your...never mind...
Best understated line of the evening: "They're all nude." (DeGeneres referring to the silhouette dancers with whom she had interacted.)
I shed a tear for departed actor: Don Knotts. By far the most affecting of those whose number came up in '06, and I'm not kidding.
1 comment:
I watched most of it as well, but doing some reading at the same time. I thought Ellen D. did a pretty good job, but I sure agree with many of your statements, and as far as Helen Mirren is concerned, even your father said, "Wow, nice body." She looked very sharp. You actually gave me a lot of chuckles with some of your comments. Thanks.
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