DEADLINE OR DO-NOTHING DISORDER: They've got a pill to help you stop smoking. (Worked for me.) A pill to help you get it up. (Ahem.) But what they really need: A pill to help you stop procrastinating. I'd buy 'em by the bushel. Good God, it's the next great mass affliction, Acute Procrastination Syndrome (APS).

Must. Stop. Procrastinating.

Thing is, I keep putting off doing anything about it.

Bah-dump bump! (Take my wife...)