THE HOLE THAT GRIEF MAKES: Hopefully I'm numb enough to write this without getting all slobbery again.

In a nutshell, we had to say goodbye to our faithful friend, Vladi the Dog. His end came Friday evening. It was terribly difficult.

I'm not going to write more right now, 'cause I don't feel like picking at the wound. I'm not feeling great about it. In fact I'm feeling awful.

Okay.

Two things I want to write down, though, in hopes that I won't lose them again.

The first is that I just relearned that words lack the proper shape or weight or something to fill the hole that grief makes. They're useless for that. They fly right through the void. They don't stick or settle. No words lift the hurt, patch the hurt, or hide the hurt, not even a little. That's not to say they're bad. They're just sort of nothing. Reminds me that, when consoling someone, a hug may be the height of eloquence.

The second is that I was forced to remember something I learned several years ago that is very important: Forgive everyone. Forgive everything. Start with yourself. Start right now.

Okay, maybe words can make a small difference.