TAKES AFTER HIS MOTHER: A quick look inside the wonderful world of parenting...

CJ (nearly three) wakes up at 5:30 and comes up to Mom and Dad's room. Mom and Dad struggle to wake up as CJ's demands escalate. Thing is, this kid NEEDS to be on the computer playing OSWALD games right away. He's emphatic. Mom and Dad get him up and running and then commit the horrible injustice of trying to have a conversation with each other. CJ spikes the computer to the floor and earns his first time-out, accompanied by much wailing and gnashing of teeth. CJ returns to the scene of the crime and, when Daddy begins talking to Mommy again, bites Daddy on the ass. Daddy shakes it off, delivers a verbal lecture, and somehow resists the urge to fling the lad by his hair into the wall. (Kidding!) When Daddy and Mommy accidentally give Mikey (3 months) some attention, CJ delivers a bite to Mikey's toe, earning time-out number two. Upon his return, as Mommy is giving CJ some verbal reinforcement of the "dont' throw the computer or bite your brother's toe" message, CJ spits at Mommy, earning time-out number three. At this point Daddy repairs to his car and heads for Starbucks, all the while thinking a martini sounds better than a latte...