WHAT HE SAID: My boy Scoop Jackson knows the Chicago Bears will win the Super Bowl, and he's got ten reasons why.

I LOVE REX, BUT FUNNY IS FUNNY: Once again THE ONION nails it. The headline is everything. (Hat tip to my bro' Eric who forwarded it to me.)

EASY TO LOATHE HER: So now Hillary's saying it's Bush's responsibility to have the troops out of Iraq before he leaves office. I was wondering if it was going to be easy for me to resume my profound dislike for her. The answer is: It's a layup. She is the most insincere, opportunistic, full-of-shit pol since...well, since that red-nosed gladhander named Bill that I voted for twice.

Here's where I net out on Bush/Iraq: I'm not sure whether he was deceptive about his reasons for going into Iraq. At the very least he did what many leaders (and *all* politicians) do: He read the facts in the way that most served his needs. The fact remains -- fact! -- that all of the world's major democracies and their instruments of intelligence believed Iraq/Saddam had WMD. So, for me, Bush is off the hook as to the *why* part of going to war. What he's not off the hook for, in my book, is his relentlessly incompetent prosection of the war, not to mention his pigheaded personnel decisions (leaving Rumsfield in there way too long, brushing aside Powell time after time, having Mike Brown at FEMA, putting that attorney-pal chick up for the Supremes, etc.). I want Bush out as much or more than the next guy...because he's not competent. However...

...to call Iraq Bush's problem, to say he has to meet some sort of timetable to tidy things up before the next Administration...suggests the office of the presidency is not one long line of public servants, but is instead a series of isolated fiefdoms, each separate from the next. Bullshit. Hillary voted to support the war. She should continue to support it, even after it's gone to shit. (And by support it, I don't mean she should blindly cheerlead for it. I mean she should consider appropriate strategic actions, in light of reality on the ground. If, God forbid, she were ever Commander-in-Chief, she might have to make hard decisions like this, rather than simply offer monotone-monologues. Our troops are there. Our. We will support them, regardless of Administration. Those are our boys, she should say. We all have a responsibility to them, and to our country, which supersedes party. Dumbass.)

If we need to get out, our timetable for getting out should be driven by a strategy, not an election cycle. That's the right message.

Hillary's an idiot.

SALVE FOR SLEEP: C.J., our four-year-old, has the croup, we think. Scary stuff, with the seal barks and the gasping for air. I had to go get him from his bed tonight, sling him over my shoulder as he gasped and drooled and cried, fireman-carry him upstairs, and then Eileen took him and consoled him and he went back to sleep. We've been through it before. It doesn't seem serious. And so we both seem to console *ourselves* with a basic, mildly comforting thought: "He's not dying."

Funny that the thought "he's not dying" is what passes for comfort at this lifestage. In my teens and twenties, that thought -- with its evil portent -- might have kept me up all night. Now it's the salve I need for sleep.

SIMON COWELL CAN KISS MY ASS! What's most intriguing -- what's *mesmerizing* -- about early-season AMERICAN IDOL is not the nascent talent. It's not the miserably untalented. It's the aggressive delusion with which many of these non-singers confront the judges. What is it about singing and dancing that makes so many of us think we can do it...when in reality most of us flat out suck? Singing and dancing are indeed democratic activities, available to all, born more of expression than expertise. But when you expect to win a talent competition on nothing but raw desire...emphasis on raw...well, you sure do make for great TV.

BTW, my headline is in jest. I think Simon is nothing if not a mercy killer.

NOW THAT'S A PROLOGUE: As many of you know, I'm a big fan of the series mystery, stuff by guys like Connelley, Child, Burke, Hamilton, and Parker. Oh, and Crais. Robert Crais, the guy who writes the "Elvis Cole" series. One of Crais's best characters is this stone killer-guy, Cole's sidekick Joe Pike. Crais's newest, the soon-to-be-released THE WATCHMAN, makes Pike its central character, and the first pre-release excerpt is a doozy. Can't wait. Will hafta buy the ARC on eBay.

WHY TWO-YEAR-OLDS WOULD MAKE BAD SPIES: Here's what I just heard from downstairs:

(bath sounds)
C.J.: "No, Mikey!"
(crash)
C.J. (devastated): "Waaaaaaahhh!"
Eileen (rushing in): "What happened?"
C.J. (through tears): "Mikey hurt me. He threw that at my head!"
Eileen: "Mikey, did you throw that at C.J.'s head?"
Mikey (delighted): "Yeah!"

NO FAIR: I've decided that my occasional bursts of enlightenment are often misinterpreted as ambivalence and/or apathy. Where's the sin in not getting all worked up over everything, I ask you? Sometimes not caring is the right response to calamity, chaos, and (false) pressures. Sometimes "so what" is the only honest response to somebody else's imperative.

Or maybe I'm just a jerk.

SOME IMPENETRABLE RANT ABOUT MULTICULTURALISM AND MUSIC: Over the years I've been drawn to various musical movements -- the punk movement of the mid- to late-'70s, the intellectual cardigan and spectacle set of the Smiths and their ilk, and the pastiche of early rap and hip-hop as expressed by the lineage of Grandmaster Flash to NWA to De La Soul.

It meant a lot of looks for me: First it was skateboards and short hair. Then Billy Bibbitt long-hair-on-top with shaved sides. Then baggy trousers and hoodies. I did my best.

What's entertaining of late is how these moments have all come together, how a hip-hopper like Lupe Fiasco can come out with a song like "Kick, Push" (which I discovered through Camel reader Paul), how Kanye can proximately ape the nerded-out intellectualism of shoegazers like Morrisey and new wavers like Thompson Twins, how Eminem is nothing if not the son of the Sex Pistols, a bleached-out surf punk spittin' rhymes from inside an industrial wasteland and across a cultural chasm. All of a sudden LRG is making clothes that combine all three elements into a distinctive "streetstyle" look, not neutered nor crazy-quilted, but a single unified look that says creativity and rebellion and eco-organic insouciance. It's as if the "For Us By Us" of FUBU got hip and inclusive, pan-racial, pan-socioeconomic, as if the United Colors of Bennetton spontaneously generated all around us.

I was originally just gonna post about how much I love that "Push, Kick" song, and now here I am off on some kind of writerly bullshit. Whatever. Thanks, Paul! Good song, even if I'm not sure what the difference is between a kick and a push when skateboarding...

INDEED: In keeping with this blog's inclination to spontaneous poeming, I offer you this fresh-off-the-keyboard, blank-verse ditty:

MIND
Always running
out of time
hurried
harried
late.

Late for what?

RHYMES WITH PUKE: Now Duke says the unjustly accused lacrosse players -- the two that haven't graduated yet -- can come back to school. How big of Duke. I'm curious: Is it Duke's policy to suspend and essentially presume guilt in all criminal cases involving students?

Granted, Duke made a big mistake when they rejected my early decision application and waitlisted yours truly way back in 1984. But now they've *really* screwed up. What a total crock this case has been since day one.

PROMISES, PROMISES: For quite a few years now -- more than a decade, probably less than two -- I've been sharing New Year's resolutions with a college pal. It's pretty fun. We swap 'em right after the New Year, then we cajole and tease each other about it a bit during the year. Just a bit. No biggie. Just a fun little tradition. Anyway, here's what I just emailed him for this year:

Develop some form of ongoing spiritual practice; identify some form of spiritual community

Work on some form of routine in my life, spiritual/exercise/family etc.; rituals and routines; I’m doing the individual things, but I want to put some ritual to it, to perhaps make it more effortless

Finish novel by my birthday, 5/11

Do a better job with birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, and other special things; remembering them, honoring them, getting special gifts, etc.

Try to do at least one special, one-on-one thing with each of my sons each week

Cut way down on french fries and pastries

Get weight below 190 (currently 205)

Exercise at least three times/week

So...what are your resolutions?