BULLET POINTS FROM THE BORING BOWL: Sure, I watched the Super Bowl. And boy was I bored. Even though it was a close game, even though I had some small change on the Patriots, my heart rate never crested 70 beats per minute. (And that was only when I strained to spread salsa on my nacho chips.) We got so bored my brother and I kept flipping over to the THE SURREAL LIFE, if only to observe the ingenious juxtaposition of Ron Jeremy and Tammy-Faye Bakker. Some observations, mostly from the halftime show:

Forget about Osama Bin Laden, I want Aerosmith at the top of our "Must Be Stopped At All Costs" list.

Say what you will about him, but Justin Timberlake is a genuine star.

Kid Rock is dangerously close to being completely over with. Still, I did get a kick out of the head-thrashing "Bawitdaba." He may be a one-trick pony, but it's a pretty good trick. He has a long life of county fairs ahead of him, if he plays his cards right.

P. Diddy can neither rap nor dance. The only person who has less of a claim on fame than he does is Paris Hilton. They should be together.

I for one rather enjoyed seeing Janet Jackson's breast, and anyone who tells you they found it offensive or that their children were somehow traumatized by the sight of it, well, they're goofy.

The commercials were abysmal. The only ones I liked were for the NFL, especially the one with Jerry Jones and Bill Parcells singing the ANNIE tune. Most of the commercials seemed to think they were funny, seemed to want to be funny...but simply were not funny. The AOL ads were pathetic examples of just plain missing the boat and landing ass-up in the water of mediocrity. I found myself poised to grin and then just left hanging. I rooted for the ads, and they did not deliver.