LET'S NOT PRETEND KERRY IS A GOOD SPEAKER: I only saw clips from the Kerry speech last night. (I was flying back from Dallas and only arrived home near the end.) I rewound our Tivo and caught some of it until my wife made me switch to the local news. Then they played five or so clips. Then I caught some more this morning.

I'm not going to base my vote on a speech. But boy was that a dud. Kerry was sweaty, rushed, and unconvincing. A stellar orator he is not. Of course Bush is no Martin Luther King Jr. himself. Still, I was shocked to hear people saying he gave "the speech of his life." I mean, c'mon. I may vote for him, but he was abysmal. Gore had more charisma.

All I kept thinking was, Boy is this whole thing hokey. Can the chorus of "help is on the way," take off your funny hats, and just distribute a one-sided, bullet-pointed sheet of where you are on the issues, who's endorsing you, etc. If generals endorse you, great. If fat ladies in silly hats cheer you, no big whoop.

So I guess I'm burned out on the Dem convention. And the only reason I'm looking forward to the Republicans' event -- well, wait, there are two reasons:

1. Wanna see McCain speak. He's always great.
2. Wanna see W. speak. He's always entertaining, if only 'cause his style is not unlike a drunk on a tightrope in his boxer shorts, not aware he's drunk, not aware he's on a tightrope, and not aware we can see his balls from where we're sitting.