ONE SHINING MOMENT: Okay, there was one highlight on the miserable MCENROE debut last night. Asked to explain how he's managed to stay in such good shape all these years, Sting thought about it and replied: "Vanity."

Of course that didn't make up for the "it can't get any worse -- oh no, it's getting worse" nature of the rest of the show. The finale -- Johnny Mac playing audibly poor guitar (for gosh sakes, if he sucks just turn him down! worked for Bob Weir) backing his wife -- was creepy, awkward, and hard to watch. As the credits rolled to the strains of "Goodbye to You" (with Sting attempted to lend ear-cupped backing vocals) one could hardly muster anything but sympathy for the tennis brat and his television brethren.