IT COMES DOWN TO GUT: Because I have a full-time (plus) job, and because my boss is living in my shorts, and because my son was up coughing half the night...I just can't pull together a long endorsement right now. I'm pressed for time, and I'm tired.

Still, given how I've blathered on over the past year or so, I feel like I owe it to my loyal readership (intimate crowd that you may be) to reveal my vote, despite my earlier protestations to the contrary.

So, it will come as no surprise to most of you that I'm voting for Bush tomorrow. The good news, for those of you that think I'm making a grave mistake, is that I live in Illinois, and we're already firmly called for Kerry.

Again, apologies that I have little time, but here's my quick rationale:

For me, the terror war (I know, I know, it's not a war, you think we're in more danger under Bush, etc.) is the number one issue of this election. I fell on my knees and cried the morning of September 11. In the days and weeks that followed, President Bush dazzled me with his leadership. I remember thinking, "Thank God it's Bush and Cheney and Rumfield and Powell in there, rather than Gore and Lieberman and the heirs to Madeleine Albright and that anoymous defense guy (Cohen)."

I bought the Iraq war. I still do.

I look at Kerry, and I don't freak out too much. Okay, could be a solid commander-in-chief. I have some reservations, but I can live with them. But then I look at Edwards. At proposed secretary of state Joe Biden. At buddy Ted Kennedy. No fucking way am I gonna contribute to these yahoos getting ahold of the ship of state in uncertain times. In any times. Cheney may lack charisma, but I don't think he's evil at all. I think he's a cold-hearted realist with icewater (and a fair amount of placque) in his veins. He's experienced. So tomorrow I'll vote for the Bush team over the Kerry team. I'll vote for a massive fuck-you to Osama, to the insurgency, and to Michael Moore and his ilk.

Okay, this is more than I wanted to write. Just don't have the time right now. So...I will continue to support AIDS charities. I will continue to push for fiscal discipline at the state and federal level. I will support more aggressive stem-cell research. I will not support school vouchers. I will give money to HRC and to Habitat for Humanity. I will read the PETA e-mails and website, toss off the odd contribution. I will be a big mess of red and blue issues, a mass of purple contradictions.

And I will vote for George W. Bush tomorrow. Because I just can't stomach doing otherwise.