DRIVING THAT TRAIN, HIGH ON HO DEAN: I'm still puzzling over how (and if) Dean should respond to Lieberman's recent "ticket to nowhere" jab. Some ideas:

"Senator Lieberman has said nominating me is a ticket to nowhere. I submit that nominating Joe Lieberman would be a ticket to four more years of insider politics. It's time for a fresh face. It's time for new ideas."

Sort of dry, eh? Not snappy enough, not headline or column-worthy. Just the expected dry response, the normal gravitation toward "change, any change, is better than the status quo" that we see in almost every campaign for every office.

How about this message, delivered to supporters:

"Ladies and gentlemen, according to Joe Lieberman you've bought a ticket to nowhere! (Boo! Boo!) Well, I say to Joe Lieberman that at least this train is moving. We've got the wind in our hair, and we're moving! While the rest of the Democrats stand around trying to look like Republicans, this train is on the track, and we're giving it more coal! We're gonna enjoy this journey, ladies and gentlemen, and we're not gonna stop 'til we reach the White House. All aboard! All aboard!"

Now that's much better. Y'know, I've always dreamed of being a presidential speechwriter, or of being a political operative for an up-and-coming candidate. I'd love to be one of the behind-the-scenes guys, working on messages and strategy. I know I have a knack...but how does one actually make the leap?

Every time I come up with a great career scenario -- y'know, cub reporter for a smalltown paper, political speechwriter and gopher, struggling actor, mystery novelist -- the long view seems to involve all manner of economic and family hardship. Y'know, make less money, get on the road, start smoking again. Okay, so maybe no smoking.

Anyhow, I'd like to see Dean use that little meme up there. "All aboard" and the populist imagery of the coal-fed train would be awesome.