I WISH THIS DIDN'T SOUND SANCTIMONIOUS: My wife and I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary this weekend. We've learned a ton about marriage and each other during that time, and I feel very lucky that somehow our unique marriage equation has endured. We've certainly worked at it, so I guess I feel a little bit more than lucky -- I feel proud.

I was thinking about the institution of marriage a bit over the weekend, and I was struck by how complete the basic vows are. Think of phrases like...

...for richer or for poorer...
...in sickness and in health...
...for better or for worse...
...forsaking all others...
...'til death do us part...

It's all in there. It really is. Nowhere does it say, "We promise to live a path of unbridled bliss, detached from reality, immune to suffering or heartache." It says no matter what, we will endure. We promise to endure. It's sort of like the Constutional language that guarantees not happiness, but simply the pursuit of it. Marriage says we'll pursue happiness together, not that we'll ever catch it.

It's a crazy, crazy thing, this institution of marriage. It's a profound leap of faith, an act of selflessness more than selfishness. It's not something you do just for yourself. It's something that involves friends and family and your larger community. In many ceremonies, ours included, the entire congregation joins together to make a commitment to the preservation of the union, to supporting it. And yet when marriages unravel how often do we see the broader community rise up to support the marriage, to help the couple down a path to reconciliation and growth? Not enough.

So much of what we see on television and in magazines is about marriage, the fairy-tale. The blushing bride as princess. The revelry at the reception. The exotic honeymoon. The walks on the beach, hands and souls clasped...

Oddly enough, after thirteen years I'd say that the reality of an enduring marriage -- the work, the faith, the selflessness, etc. -- is a hundred times more powerful than the fairy-tale.