DR. RUMMY: Need a huge laugh this morning? Check out this Esquire satire of a Rumsfeld sex-advice column. A sample:

Dear Secretary Rumsfeld:

My wife and I are happily married, but the spark seems to have gone out of our sex life. How can we spice it up? —Harry Blumenthal, Bakersfield, California

Secretary Rumsfeld:

There's no great mystery here, Harry. It can't be that hard to understand. You get in there, you do your job, you develop an exit strategy, and you get the heck out of there. That's the way sex works. Why does everything have to be so difficult?